every dream is a slip cover of what i want. thought, no action. action, no thought. these beautiful things. these beautiful entities. and then there are the tangible ones. less tangible than theorems. but still lining the rock bottom and pointing towards what living is.
and when i sleep it all comes clear. just what i need. and i float in and out of consciousness. and then i awake and think of you.
as it was written:
you shake me from my dreams to make of me your own. and i am easily lead into this sanctuary from lost, lost loves. with every brilliant star a sun in its own right with no window to acknowledge it. it is all but day. a life of night with two moons making love inside of a caul.
outside on a blanket reading dead authors with pens plucked from something elses hide.
when were looking up through the trees and the sky doesnt tame the leaves. its when you know that this is no longer about being out. than it is about being free.
i put my pen into an open page of my book. and all that comes out is what i want to hear.
there with the see/through
c,omm,as,plice,s
stretching eastward,
accepting and ending.
( :masking the rhythm: )
mapping the sky
with crystalline eyes,
(this one gives me a new way of smiling)
and what do you do with that nervous paranoia? the feeling, knots, in your throat? and you want to cry, to let the dam break... but, you're afraid it won't stop. you'll be crying about now, but you could keep crying about everything. that you're here, that you're not.
flash.
and your bed calls to you. your pillows, which are really your lover's arms, the warmth you generate another body there beside you. yes. what will you do?
flash.
will you go? will you sit?
your hesitation. you sneeze.
flash.
and you feel the warmness, hear the music behind you, the sun on your naked feet, the wind in your hair... being careful to keep your skirt down, not too much cleavage... but, you caught him looking anyway.
flash.
who is this about, i wonder? do you think? at all? is it about someone?
no. this is me.
flash.
did you say what i thought i heard? it was a whisper in my headphones, and i fucking swear it was you.
i'm embarrassed but i ain't that stunned.
we drive around. we listen to music. we drink tea. we talk. we stay in. we watch films. you get sick. i stay with you. i am coughing. you are sleeping. and so it goes. and here it is, and better yet......here it comes.
you churn in my guts. faithfully and arbitrarily.
i will not let you down.
